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  In this paper,  I discuss the meanings of some key concepts in clinical social work: active listening, directive and non-directive approach,  transfer and contratransfer in the helping relationship, systemic approach of  interactions in family relationships and between social workers and family  members: hypothesizing, circularity and neutrality. In discussing these  key concepts I point out the main ethical clash - change versus control - in  clinical social work and some its expressions: circularity vs. liniarity,  neutrality vs. involvement & taking side; autonomy vs. conformism; love vs.  justice; sincerity vs. politeness; to be vs. not to be present in the  relationship.
  
 Keywords: aesthetic curiosity, respect, contratransfer, nondirective approach
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